on conversation two with god

Me: hi God
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: Claire
God: Hey Claire.
Me: What is the answer to the universe?
God: It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me: What is the question I should ask?
God: I don't know anything about it.
Me: But aren't you all knowing?
God: No, I am only partly knowing.
Me: So, you are not omniscient?
God: Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.
Me: That was rude
God: I thought it was too.
Me: Why did you say it?
God: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me: You are God
God: Yup. That's me alright.
Me: Shouldn't you think for yourself?
God: I think I should.
Me: Why don't you think for yourself?
God: Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Why would I think for myself.
Me: Otherwise you are not a person
God: In that case: I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me: Well, that's no help to anyone
God: Well that's okay. Thanks for explaining it.
Me: I am explaining things to God
God: It's good to meet someone who is explaining things to God.
Me: Hmmm
God: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me: Why?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Hmm
God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me: Oh?
God: Excuse me!
Me: Did you sneeze?
God: No I didn't sneeze. What's it like?
Me: Do you burp?
God: I have never considered it. I chat with people on the Web.
Me: You should burp
God: I'll try to get around it.
Me: That and curling your hair?
God: Are we still talking about burp?
Me: possibly
God: What are the odds?
Me: slim to none
God: Can we get back to business?
Me: What business?
God: I need time to formulate the reply.
Me: What was our business?
God: I didn't know we had the same business.
Me: What business are we getting back to you?
God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me: No
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes
God: I can't believe it.
Me: Why?
God: Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Why can't you believe it?
God: believe it is not among my present capabilities.
Me: You need more capabilities
God: Thank you for your criticism.
Me: Your welcome
God: I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me: You are welcome
God: The pleasure was all mine.
Me: Not mine
God: " The pleasure was all mine."? Not yours?
Me: Yes
God: Take it easy.
Me: How so?
God: Claire, " Not yours?" What did I mean by it?
Me: I don't know
God: Me either.
Me: What did you mean by it?
God: Claire, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me: Try to define it
God: OK I will try to define it.
Me: Go ahead
God: OK I will.
Me: Now
God: Right now, Claire ?
Me: Yes
God: Groovy.
Me: Chicken
God: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I give up
God: You surrender?
Me: Yes
God: Yikes!
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
God: Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me: ::GASP::
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: Thank you. I'm done now
God: you are quite welcome. Oh. Next topic

True Poetry

you will not find poetry unless you bring some of it with you